omg no but I THINK ABOUT THIS ALL THE TIME
I like to think that maybe they stumble through some kind of enchanted wardrobe or something (because the show would totally want to make a Narnia reference come on) and when they fall out the other side they’re still in the bunker and they look at each other like ‘what?’ and then Cas walks in and asks what they’re doing on the floor they breathe a sigh of relief because okay everything is normal after all
but then Cas reaches down to pull Dean up but doesn’t just stop when he’s standing, he pulls him right up against him and runs his other hand through his hair to shake the dust from the wardrobe out of it and Dean is too shocked to even back away and Sam was complaining about being left on the floor but now his eyes are the size of saucers because Cas is shaking his head fondly and carding gentle fingers through his brother’s hair
"Whatever you were doing has made you filthy, Dean Winchester." Cas says with shining eyes, completely oblivious to the shocked expressions on the brothers’ faces, "You better have a shower before bed, we already changed the sheets three times this week."
He winks and Dean goes bright red, looking to Sam for some sort of explanation and leaning away from the hand in his hair, but not quite bringing himself to stop the fingers threading between his own. Sam’s jaw almost hits the floor.
"Uh Cas-" Dean starts but Cas suddenly frowns and lifts their entwined hands up to his face to stare accusingly at Dean’s left hand
"Where’s your ring?"
What the fuck?
"My what?” Dean asks, starting to wonder what kind of weirdo world he just fell into, and Sam actually gasps when he sees the gold band on Cas’s left ring finger.
Cas’s grip on his hand tightens and shit he looks really fucking mad
"Your ring,Dean.” He growls, gesturing to his own. Dean’s just wondering what the hell is going on when Sam surges forward suddenly to clap Dean on the back with the world’s biggest shit eating grin on his face
"You mean his wedding ring, Cas?” He says, ignoring the murderous look Dean throws him and the irritated one from Cas,
"Of course, Sam."
"The one you put on his finger?”
Cas looks at Sam like he’s gone completely mad, “Obviously.”
"The one he totally cried over?"
"Hey!" Dean offers weakly and Cas’s expression momentarily softens as he smiles lovingly over at him and Sam starts to wonder why the hell he didn’t notice this before because, yeah, this universe’s Dean and Cas seem to be happily married but hell if this Cas doesn’t look at Dean in exactly the same way that their Cas does. Like he hung the goddamn stars.
"Yes, Sam." Cas sighs, looking very much like he is getting tired of their shit, "His wedding ring. Where is it?"
"Cas, we’re not-"
"He’s getting it engraved!" Sam steps on Dean’s foot before he puts it in his mouth and both he and Cas turn to look at Sam with nothing but confusion on their faces.
"Yeah, he uh, wanted it to be a surprise but uh…yeah. He sent it off just now. You know…" Sam mentally crossed his fingers, "For your anniversary."
And thank whatever God still exists because Cas completely fucking melts and Sam is really starting to feel like he’s intruding on a really private moment.
"You did?" Cas asks, eyes bright and watery and Dean finds he really really doesn’t want to wipe that expression off his face. Ever. So he shrugs awkwardly and lets out a breathy chuckle
"Uh, yeah. I, uh… surprise."
And then Cas is flinging his arms around Dean’s neck and kissing him like it’s their first kiss (which for one of them it is) and like it’s their hundredth and Dean can’t help but melt right into it and Sam has to physically tear them apart and drag Dean with him back through the wardrobe.
When they stumble back into their own universe, Dean’s lips are swollen and his hair is all over the place and his face is so red Sam can’t help but double over laughing.
When Cas appears at the door, drawn by Sam’s loud laughter, Dean goes even redder and tears start streaming down Sam’s face
"What is going on?" He asks, head tilted and eyes flickering between them
"Oh nothing," Sam gasps between breaths, "Dean just came out of the closet."